Lessons Learned Thus Far: Epic Road Trip

I have unintentionally abandoned my blogging duties in exchange for sleep. Because sleep on the road has been few and far between. Yet there have been many lessons learned as a mom of five, five and under, on the road. I'd love to share a few of these with you!
Living in one room hotel rooms I have learned how to:
- Clean bottles with shampoo and Q-Tips
- Have planning meetings after lights out in the bathroom as we whisper and quietly surf the internet planning out our next days activities.
- Silently eat entire quarts (because hotel mini-fridge/freezers aren't big enough to save any;) of Ben and Jerry's ice cream in the dark, after the kids have all fallen asleep around us.
- And I have learned how to entertain friends and family in a hotel lobby with take out food, styrafoam cups, and bottles of wine, while the children swim in the pool.

While driving I have successfully mastered the following:
- Pumping and driving... trust me the truckers love it. especially when you wave.
- Still having all five kids nap at the same time each day for two hours while driving.
- Teaching boys how to pee in Starbucks cups and empty them through back windows without getting dirty.
- The careful line between dehydrating children and not having to stop every thirty minutes for one of them to have to use the restroom.
- The carfeul line between dehydrating yourslef, and therefore yor newborn baby and still having enough milk, but not having to stop every thirty minutes for yourself to use the restroom.
- And maybe most importantly, the skill of "angry driving", as David and I have affectionately called the survival methods used to drive through the east coast, especially northern VA and DC area! You MUST be angry, you must find anger within  you and use it if you want to survive.

Some things that have happened while on this epic road trip that I would like to blame on the sleep deprivation:
- Forgetting Laila's third birthday (sort of intentionally) and celebrating it four days later
- eating entire quarts of Ben and Jerrys, nearly every night.
- Possibly dehydrating my children on numerous occassions
- buying teal acid washed cut off shorts (for myself)
- wearing said shorts throughout the country
- jumping out of my van full of children and yelling at the man who rear ended us when I heard him start to blame my husband for the accident, sorry about that sir.

With all this in mind, as the weeks have progressed I have become more and more grateful for this time as a family. Because over the last 18 months our lives have drastically changed! We have gone from a family of three to a family of seven in less than two years. And as a result this time away, together, has been precious. It's been a chance to breathe, to settle in to what it means to be us. A family of seven. Three adopted kiddos (2 who are not officially adopted yet), one kid with birth defects, a new born surprise, and some pretty overwhelmed and blessed parents. The quote that is continually ringing in my head is one from Maya Angelou "Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it." That is the kind of God we serve. And I am overwhelmed with this truth. Two years ago I could be found crying in the back of worship, or in my room begging God to give me more.
My heart longed to become a family in which hurt chidlren found refuge and healing admist our hearts and arms.
My spirit longed to be grown and challenged through experienes greater than I could fathom.
And I've always dreamt of travelling and watching my children discover the world.
And this trip has given me the chance to sit back and realize that God has given these things to me. And so much more than I could ever have dreamt. And what is so exciting, is that this is just the beginning!

As we wind down, knowing we will be home in a week. I can't help but feel so totally blessed.

Epic Road Trip

Source: babyology.com.au via ally_ on Pinterest

We're leaving on an epic road trip.
We will be gone a little over a month! Covering several states, mostly the east coast.
It is going to be Griswold-esque!

You know, David, me, our newborn, our one year old, our three year old, our four year old, our five year old, and yes, the dog too! There will be eight of us in the mini van... who am I kidding it will be way more intense than the sweet family of four known as the Griswolds!

On top of our car will be Big Bertha, the enormous suitcase we own, our trusty red wagon, a pack-n-play, and of course, our six beach chairs:) Inside, will be everything we need for on the road...

It should be a blast.

And while on this epic journey, Laila will turn three, my best friend will get married, we will celebrate Mother's Day for the first time as a complete family, I will turn 28, we will see all grandparents, most great-grandparents, all cousins, all aunts and uncles, four of the seven will get to see the ocean for the first time, six of the seven will see our nations capitol for the first time, and it WILL be fun!

I will surely be updating as we make our way across, down, up, around, and back up through our nation:)
And surely it will be entertaining!

Charli's Birth

Note: This is a post about giving birth and does include pictures (no naked pics), if that's not your thing, don't read!

I want to document the story of Charli's birth, while it's fresh in my mind and heart, for several reasons... The first being that I want to have it for her to read. Hearing my mom and grandma's birth stories have been incredibly special to me and is something I see as a part of our family's story.

Secondly, when you are pregnant reading birth stories is therapeutic. It gives you hope, that this baby will come out! And it gives you strength. Knowing that women you know and love, and women across the globe you've never met, have done this, their stories bring strength.

This story is a story of natural birth, at a licensed midwifery center. Charli was born in the water, making it a water birth. Tre's birth was very different. A more "typical" United States birthing experience. I was enduced, pitocin, epiduril, etc. And I was so happy. We had a beautiful baby boy. So this story is not to pass judgement on anyone who decides or needs to give birth in the hospital setting, as I am that woman as well. But when we found out that we were going to have another baby I knew I wanted to give birth differently than I had the first time. I wanted to feel empowered and in charge of my birthing experience. I wanted to be treated as normal. I wanted to feel as if pregnancy wasn't a disease, but something my body is made to do well. All of this lead us to Mountain Midwiferey Center in Denver. Which is where Charli was born.

Saturday March 17th, St. Patrick's Day. David was out of town until early evening. I had had a bad back ache since the night before and was debating whether or not to get ready for a wedding I'd been hoping to attend for about ten years! Around 2 pm David texted me and said he'd be home early, around 4, and to pick him up. I had a babysitter coming then and was excited he'd be home. We met at the airport and decided to call it an early night because I knew I was close. We went to the mall to buy a phone cover and walk the mall, by the time we made it to the Mac store my contractions were pretty regular, but still doable.

(You see, it's never too late to take a quick peek in Anthropologie!)

We then decided to walk to PF Changs across the parking lot for some appetizers, still just seeing what would happen. We sat at the bar. By this time we had begun timing contractions and they were about six minutes apart. I eventually had to stand at the bar because I couldn't sit through them anymore. At this point David got excited and started telling complete strangers that I was in labor:) which totally freaked the man sitting next to me who had earlier taken my chair because I insisted since I was standing! I eventually went and waited outside because I needed to walk. David got his food to go and we headed home to get our bags and Tre! We helped put the other three kids to bed and met my parents at the birthing center. Our babysitter stayed till Laurie could come and relieve her for night duty.

At the birthing center there are three rooms, I had picked my top two that I wanted to labor in. My top choice was the log room, but the tub was not warm in there. So we went to my second choice, the blue room. There was another woman laboring in the room next door and she was close to having her baby. I was feeling bad because Tre and all of us were there making noise. I ended up walking the stairs from about 9 pm to 2 am. (At some point we sent Tre and my parents home to sleep.) If I laid down, I could still rest. During this time I went from being three centimeters dilated to five centimeters dilated. I wasn't making very quick progress. So we decided, along with the midwives, to go home and sleep as much as possible because we would be having a baby within the next 24 hours, but it was slow. We decided to go to

my parents house, since it was closer and we had someone at home with the other kids. I spent from about 3 am - 6 am sleeping/breathing through contractions in my old bedroom. David and Tre slept upstairs. During this time I was dreaming that my mom was coaching me through

these contractions and ensuring me that these were just the little ones, and that I had to birth

these four smaller things before it would be time to have my baby. And she would just encourage me through the contraction, "keep sleeping Manda bear, keep sleeping, don't wake up!" I truly believe that because of these few hours of sleep I was able to tackle the hours that lie ahead! At around 6 am things had changed and I knew it was time to wake David. He called the midwife and they told us to come in. I think we got there around 7am. This time we were the only people there, and we went to the log room, my favorite room.

I think one of the reasons my labor stalled out a bit the night before is that I wasn't feeling completely comfortable, I wanted a certain room, and I didn't want anyone else there. So it worked out that I got to rest a bit, David got to rest a bit, and then we had my idyllic setting for giving birth when we returned. Over the next 6-9 hours I labored in the birthing center. I used big bouncy balls, mostly walking, and a birthing tub. At around 2 pm they decided to give me some herbs to help move me along (I had been at an eight for quite some time). The reason it was taking so long, and was extra painful was because Charli was "sunny side up" meaning her head was facing up, rather than back which causes things to move very slowly and results in back labor. We tried many positions at this point to get her to turn, she eventually turned her head a little bit, enough for her to completely move down and I could finish dilating.

Then came the hardest part. I had an anterior cervical lip as a result of her position, which just means that the cervix hadn't completely made it over her head, because it wasn't in the easiest position for it to do so. Usually this just requires the midwife to push it over the head as you push during a contraction. Unfortunately for me this part lasted for at least an hour and over several contractions because it kept slipping back over her head. (I was in the tub at this point.) This is the part where I "lost it". They talk about how at some point in labor you might "loose it" and this usually means that you are in transition and very close to having your baby. I always wanted to be that lady that silently breathes her way through labor, looking calm and almost meditative... Nope! The other night at dinner I asked Tre to tell Demetrius and Laila what I was like, he thought about it for a minute and then said, "kind of like a dying pig." Yup, that pretty much sums it up.

Thank God I'm not a Scientologist, I'd have been kicked out!

They decided to move me to the bed and break my water to see if that would help her change positions. As soon as they broke my water two things happened. Number one, they saw that there was meconium in the water. Most likely a result of the long labor. Number two, they told me they'd need to transfer me to the hospital in the next few minutes if the baby wasn't coming...This is the part that David told me he could tell was unusual. As soon as the midwife told me that, I just got up and said, "I need to move." I pretty much just ran to the tub. Afterwards the midwife told me she doesn't think she's seen anyone move so quickly at this stage of labor. I just had a bolt of adrenaline and knew what needed to be done. Seven minutes later she was born in the tub!

(This is the midwives catching her and pushing her through for me to pick up.)

I pulled her up out of the water and David and I went and laid in the bed with our new baby.

Tre and my parents were all there, and Tre joined us on the bed! It was amazing. We had learned about "the newborn crawl" and how if left alone on their moms belly, a baby will make their way to breast and begin to feed. Without bathing them they are still covered in the amniotic fluid and vernix, which quickly soaks into their skin and helps keep them moisturized. This smell also is the same smell as mom's colostrum. They will continue to find their hands, to smell/taste what they are looking for, until they find the breast. It was amazing to experience! And we just laid there and got to know our new baby, it was surreal, and the best part of the birthing center experience. Just getting to relax and experience our new baby without interruption or unnecessary things happening for a bit.

Tre got to "experiment" with the placenta. The midwives laid it out for him and explained all the parts to him, he measured it with legos, and touched it, and was so fascinated! He also brought it home to put under his microscope! (Side Note Treism: He told David on the way home as he was holding the baggie with the placenta in it that he couldn't wait to collect all the placentas from all the babies we will have and fill our house with placentas! David broke it to him that this was the first, and last placenta coming home to the PPP.)

At some point we decided to have Charli transferred to the hospital one block away for observation because her heart rate had remained a bit high. She and David were transferred there and my mom and I met them a few hours later. She was observed in the NICU for about 20 hours and then we came home!

As I begin to process this experience several things come to mind... First of all I felt so much closer to David. He was a rock to me throughout the experience and I know that I could not have done it without him. He was truly amazing. I really do feel so much closer to him as a result of the experience.

I also feel really proud of myself. I knew this would be the hardest thing I have physically done. And it was harder than even that. But I did it, and it was amazing!

I see God at work in so many of the details of the experience, when it happened, how it happened, everything. It reminds me that he cares so much for me, even in the little things! For instance, right after I gave birth the power went out, it was a HUGE wind storm and we were without power for a few hours. But this did not effect us at all. We were in a sunny room and it was late afternoon. And by the time it got dark, the power was back on. If I'd been in labor It would have been a different story because they couldn't have kept the tub warm, etc. (all emergency equipment is run by batteries so it wouldn't have been dangerous, just unnerving maybe.) Another thing that I see was God, is that I was able to labor all day long just me, in the birthing center. From the time I had Charli to the time the nurse was leaving the hospital after dropping me off to see her three mamas had come to give birth!

And lastly, I am so grateful to have a place like the birthing center where I was surrounded by women believing in me and my body and the power of birth. I felt so supported and empowered and safe in their care.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Just Call Me Horton

Dr. Seuss has always had that magical quality to me. I remember as a small child reading and re-reading many of his books. Imagining a snow day filled with strangers, no parents, and a machine that cleaned up after me, or being in a band that was pulled by zebras. Some years, on the Docs birthday, my mom made us green eggs for breakfast as we wished him happiness.
In high school he was still cool! We studied his political views and hidden messages in books like Yertle the Turtle.
Then I cried when my patents gifted me Oh the Places You'll Go, as I ventured out into the world as a young adult.
And then last night, as a mom, the magic returned.

I had piled all the Dr. Seuss books a few weeks ago as we made our way through them in celebration of his recent birthday. Well Laila had found a certain love for Horton Hatches the Egg. So we have been reading that a lot lately.

Side Note: Have any of you other foster/adoptive moms noticed this recurring theme in your home... My kids are inextricably drawn to movies, characters, and stories that somehow reflect the pain of their own stories. Despicable Me, Kung Fu Panda, Lilo and Stitch, Etc. Although they haven't said, "Look he was an orphan and adopted like me!", or made some other verbal declaration stating that they see similarities in their stories, it is undeniably true in our home.

For those of you who don't know the premise of Horton Hatches the Egg, it is about an elephant, Horton, who is asked to sit on a birds egg while she goes off "for a rest". She promises to return shortly but does not. So Horton stays sitting on the egg for nearly a year, through many trials and tribulations. At the end of the book the bird magically appears as the egg begins to hatch. And of course, she wants her baby back. Well as the egg hatches everyone can see that the baby bird has become an elephant bird, and claims Horton as it's parent.

Well as we got to this page of the story Laila pointed to the mom bird Mayzie and said, "That is (insert her biological mothers name here). See she looks so angry."
I of course thought I had misheard... "What Laila?"
She the proceeded to gracefully repeat herself, but this time she went on. "Look mama, that's you!" pointing to Horton,
"And the baby is me! See how happy I am because you take such good care of me?!"


And once again the magic of Dr. Seuss filled my heart.
As Laila and I began the first, of what I hope is a life time full of discussions about her story, about what she's been through, even before her egg hatched, and how Papa God has taken care of her and brought her to us.

Because you see, lately we have been working with a team of therapists and experts to help us with the uphill road that lies ahead of us with Laila. And this mama's heart has felt a bit overwhelmed, heavy, and insufficient. But then the Doc said this..

"MY WORD! It's something brand new!
IT'S AN ELEPHANT BIRD!!
And it should be, it should be, it SHOULD be like that!
Because Horton was faithful! He sat and he sat! He meant what he said, and he said what he meant...
And they sent them home happy, one hundred percent!

So here is to all of us Horton Mamas out there... It SHOULD be like that!





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Great News

I've been MIA. Sorry to all those who have called my mom, wondering if we're still alive over here at the Purvis tribe!

We are, there was a few days when I wasn't sure if we'd make it... but we did. We got the flu, the real one. And I couldn't function, let alone take care of all my children who were sick as well. David was out of town, so my parents and friends had to step in, and risk their lives, to help! Thank God for them!

But we're on the other side now, I've even showered recently, and bathed my children, and driven a car. So things are looking up!

And we got some really exciting news recently, some news that we weren't really even hoping to hear until May or June... We will be (finally) moving forward with the adoption of Laila and Noah, the appeal has been heard, and we can now move forward! YAY!

We still have about a month of waiting before we can officially move forward, but we are ecstatic around here! And hope to compete our family of seven early this summer!

A few more weeks until we are expecting the arrival of our little girl. We think we have a name picked out, and it is none of the names we had you vote on:) But we have to wait and meet her, so we'll let you know!

We will be giving birth at the Mountain Midwiferey Center. It is a small birthing center near Denver. I am very excited about the idea of bringing our baby girl into the world in this surrounding, with no drugs, masks, bright lights, wires, or needles.

We have read lot's of books, and here are a few I recommend that have been phenomenal in learning about the natural process of birth:

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

Birthing From Within

We also watched this documentary (currently on Netflix): The Business of Being Born

Some really great information! I am looking forward to sharing our experiencewith natural childbirth soon!